Dejavu

Right now I am sitting in the Sheraton Hotel downtown Chicago. Just as I was a year ago. Well last year it might have been the Hyatt, I don't remember. I am SO thankful that Darin's company gets him really nice hotel rooms when he goes to trade shows and that I can come stay with him when he's in Chicago. The bed is so big and comfy. After our run along Lakeshore Drive this morning, a yummy breakfast, and a lukewarm shower (my only complaint), I didn't leave the comfort of the bed until now. I have been reading all morning! It's something I LOVE to do, but usually there are other things calling for my time and attention. I finished my book, GODS AND KINGS, which was fascinating! It is fiction, but it told the stories about the kings of Judah and Israel and sent me straight to scripture to get the rest of the story. It is amazing to read the accounts of each of the kings. Whenever they did what was right in God's eyes, they enjoyed peace and prosperity. Whenever the king did evil in God's eyes and worshipped other gods, the country was at war and in poverty. Whichever way the king chose to go (good or evil), his people always followed. How could they not see a pattern?!? How could the children that grew up under the reign of a king who followed God's laws choose to turn their back on God? As I read I found that often it was their own pride that brought them down. Their hearts were poisoned by their success and they decided that they didn't need God. Could we learn from their mistakes? Maybe that's one reason why those stories are there. FASCINATING reading!





Anyway, on to what I really wanted to write about...





It was about a year ago that I was on the train coming down to stay with Darin when I got the phone call in which I first heard the names Mauricio and Miguel. I wasn't sure at the time what I felt. I think I was too afraid to hope that God had chosen these two boys to become our sons. What if I was wrong? I see that as a pattern in my life. I am afraid to hope for great things, afraid to dream big dreams, afraid to ask for much; because what if I'm wrong? I have limited God in my life by doing this; but He, in His awesome tenderness and power, has shown Himself to me time and time again to be big and faithful, merciful and oh so generous, kind and loving, patient and amazing! In spite of all my doubts and fears, He has brought us along the seemingly daunting path toward the reality of bringing Mauricio and Miguel home to become part of our family. I am so excited!





On Feb. 25 I was "dumping" on a friend of mine. I was just sharing my frustrations with the lengthy process and how our paperwork seemed to be stuck at the US Immigrations office (thanks for listening, Gwen) and not even an hour later I get the phone call that it has been approved. "Lord, I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mk. 9:24) We eventually received the official acceptance letter (8 days later). And now everything that Colombia needs is down there. It just needs to be approved by their committee. Our adoption agency tells us that the orphanage, Chiquitines, is very excited! The boys have been there since May 16, 2006. Could they have given up hope of ever being a part of a loving forever family. It makes my heart sink to think of it. On Monday I sent the scrapbooks that we have been working on for so long. It was so hard to put together a few pages and pictures to tell the story of who we are as a family. We wanted it to be an honest account, but we also wanted it to look very appealing to the boys. We want them to be as excited to come live with us and be loved by us as we are to have them and to love them.



And now we wait...yet again. But it shouldn't be for long this time. Then the whirlwind of preparations will begin! Of course this seems like the worst timing. I thought that sometime in December through February would actually be the best. Right now we are trying to plan Alex's graduation, prepare for a couple of triathlons, planning to attend several cool field trips, and Darin's company is rolling out their new product. Will we miss all of these things? Will Darin's boss be OK with that? But every time I question or doubt, I remember God's faithfulness to me in the past and I feel His peace wash over me. He is in control. He knows what He's doing. I don't have to worry.

-Beth-